Saturday, July 28, 2007

How do I answer these questions?

Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein (it's shteeen) has tagged me with a five question meme. Ever happy to talk about myself, I celebrate the popping of my meme cherry by answering these questions:

1. Does this look infected to you?

No. I think it is just a fungus.

2. What was the name of your kindergarten or first grade teacher?

My kindergarten teacher was Mrs. Herman and my first grade teacher was Miss. Semlie. (I think I'm spelling Semlie wrong). Mrs Herman was the greatest kindergarten teacher that ever lived! She let me and David G. go to first grade every day for reading class and when we came back to kindergarten she would have us sit on her lap and read the books we were learning in first grade to her. She was a big lady and her lap could hold at least four kindergartners. I don't know why she picked me to move up in reading, but I am sure glad she did. It started a love affair with reading that means that for the rest of my life I will never be bored. My 'to read' stack never ever gets shorter. My first grade teacher was also fantastic. It was 1971 and we were her first class she ever taught. She wasn't a hippy, but she was so groovy. She looked like Brenda Morgenstern (aka Marge Simpson) but was much better dressed. At the end of the school year she got married and moved away.

3. Have you ever broken a bone in your body?

Not really. I fractured my nose on my brother's forehead once. He is 14 months older than me and we were fairly evenly matched as little kids. I had pinned him down with my knees on his arms and was doing the chest poke 'say uncle....pokepokepoke......say uncle......pokepokepoke' when he tried to lurch up and banged his forehead on my nose. We were at my parents' friend's house and she was a nurse who checked me out and thought I was okay. Later a doctor confirmed a hairline fracture. No big. I can't remember if my brother got in trouble. Probably a little, but me? Nope.

4. What's up with the humidity lately?

It's not the heat it's the stupidity. We went for a full month with no measurable rain and it was still humid. When I moved to Virginia from Wisconsin, many people wanted to brag on their humidity in VA. "Oh, just wait until summer" they'd proudly say, "the humidity is unbearable". Ladies of Virginia: yes, you have humidity, but so do we. So do we. Here is a chart of the humidity in Madison. In the summer we are at the top. We are so competetive that way.

5. What kind of alcoholic beverage would you buy me if we went out for a drink?

Glad you asked! I was a bartender for 10 years at a bar where every drink order was placed using the ingredients in the drink. To whit: Brandy Seven, Gin and Tonic, Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. We didn't have no stinkin' blender. Once in a while we'd have to make whatever shot was trendy that season: blowjobs, sex on the beach, whatevah. But that was rare and those weren't regulars.

So for you, a Vodka Pres with a dash of Rose's lime juice and a wedge of lime.

Wait, ho! What's a pres? Pres is short for Presbyterian. I was told that presbyterian is half way between catholic and baptist, so a presbyterian drink is half and half. In most parts of the country this means making a cocktail with the booze and equal parts ginger ale and soda water. Here in 'Sconny we do equal parts seven up and soda water. For you, I'd make it diet soda. And it would be vodka because that seems to be the alcohol of choice for the people with health issues (and little old ladies who don't think it smells on their breath. Ladies, you ain't fooling no one.) The lime stuff just makes it tasty!

You can buy me a margarita on the rocks, no salt. Cheers.

I am going to tag Fran, Johnny Yen, Suzy, Yoga Korunta and Chris in Seattle with these five questions:

1. Wednesday, Nov. 5, 2008. Our side won! How do you celebrate?
2. Are you on a boat or are you a land lubber or do you soar?
3. What was the last mistake you wished you could cover up?
4. Are your omelettes fluffy?
5. When was the last time your paradigm shifted?

Some of you are on vacation. I don't think there's a time limit. You can get at it when you get back. Love, Jess.


Chris in Seattle said...

All done Dear. I hope I did OK. Any further requests/instructions?

Anonymous said...

Oh, please tell me did the spit dangle over your brother before he got you in the nose!

And isn't it funny how people don't think the midwest is hot? Here in GA, they think we wore our winter coats all year long in Chicago. Nope - I tell them - the midwest has both extremes: snot freezing cold in the winter and drippy sweat heat and humidity in the summer.

Yoga Korunta said...

1. On 05 NOV 2008 we'll celebrate with Champagne, of course!

2. On land, but wish to be sailing.

3. The last mistake which should have been caught was speaking/writing before editing.

4. The eggs are tres puff!

5. Um, 1967?

Galactichero said...

Ahem. I am amused.

1. Some fungi are infections. Think "vaginal yeast" and "jock itch."
2. What if you had several? Do you have to name them all?
3. Is this a yes/no question, or an essay theme?
4. Blame it on El Nino... those damn immigrants :-) (A little VA humor there). Living in VA is like living in a crock pot. The heat, the humidity, and the barometric pressure combine such that I stay damp from March to September.
5. Alcohol is the devil. LOL. Draft Woodchuck Hard Cider. Not ALLCAPS, but a proper noun...

second set
1. Which side was "ours?" None of them make any sense anymore...
2. I'm chained to a wall.
3. I never make mistakes.
4. No.
5. Last Friday night at 11:48 pm.

Dr. Zaius said...

Only a sibling would say "14 months older than me" instead of saying "a year older than me."

Suzy said...

OK, I'm back from vacation and here goes.

1. I celebrate by painting the town green, in honor of the victorious Green Party. (Isn't that what you meant by "our side"?)

2. Land lubber, most definitely. We took a canoe out in Lake Michigan last week, and Mr. Ether threatened to turn around and go back because I was whimpering so much. Really.

3. Voting for George W. Bush in '04. Just kidding. Jeez, like the afore mentioned Dubya, I can't seem to think of any mistakes I've made ... Maybe it was once waking up in the middle of the night saying "Please, Thomas." (My husband's name is Ed. I don't actually know anyone named Thomas. Really.)

4. My omelettes are only fluffy right after they've been washed. My ├╝mlauts are frequently fluffy, but I don't flaunt them.

5. I became a Republican for a little while about a year ago, but it didn't take.

Can I make up some questions now?

Wanna go for coffee?