Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Who is today's saint?

All my devout Catholic friends are saying "It's the Feast of the Assumption!" All non-Catholics are saying "when you assume you make an ass of u and me".

Wait, hoa, I say unto all of ye! There are so many saints that they have to stack them up like holy cordwood to get everybody a spot. That's why it is essential to look on holy days like this one at who is not getting their proper due because of everyone celebrating the beta test of the rapture on Mary the Mother of God who was assumed into heaven whole, just like that guy in the car in front of you this morning on the way to work will be because he has the bumper sticker that says "in case of rapture this car will be abandoned". Pretty cocksure, mr. guy driving the '89 brown Taurus.

Today's saint is Saint Arnulf of Soissons. The Patron Saint of Brewers!

According to my Saint-A-Day book:

Arnulf of Soissons was a French soldier turned clergyman. After reluctantly becoming the Bishop of Soissons, he was driven from his episcopate by invaders and moved to Flanders. When a plague broke out he noticed that the water drinkers were dropping like flies, but the beer drinkers were thriving. He hastened to brew up a big batch of beer and saved the town.

Beatified for Beer, hurrah!

On a side note, Saint Arnulf - we've lost eight of the last twelve games and are sliding down in contention. Please watch over our Milwaukee Brewers and do not allow them another 12-4 loss like that stinker last night. Amen.


Suzy said...

Ha! Having just read the book Ghost Map, all about an infamous cholera epidemic where it was proven that cholera is actually waterborne, not God's wrath being visited on poor people because they're inferior, anyway … it was noted that the only place in the neighborhood that was spared any illness was the brewery. Why? They didn't drink water to slake their thirst. Go, Saint Arnulf.

Gledwood said...

Hey I heard the Roman Catholic church basically lifted the pagan gods of tribes and peoples of areas their religion spread to and basically "sainted" lots of the local gods into more respectable incarnations ... "christianity" and paganism rockin' and rollin' hand in hand... best of both worlds ...
Lovely blog u got here... I hopped in via freinds of mutual friends type of thing ... Of course I'm a blogger too: gledwood2.blogspot - come by sometime...
meanwhile take it e.z.
& all the best 2u

"vol 2" ...

FranIAm said...

All I can say is that I did think of you when I went to mass today.

Secret Rapture said...

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