Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Where will Dr. Monkey go?


BITING MONKEY ORDERED OUT OF CITY

By STEVEN ELBOW The Capital Times

A monkey that has bitten at least two people in recent months is getting its marching orders.

"We ended up declaring the monkey dangerous because of the number of bites," said Doug Voegeli, Madison Environmental Health Services supervisor. "We have ordered it to be out of the city." Suri Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein, a 46-year-old capuchin monkey, gained a lot of attention last Wednesday after he bit a 21-year-old woman on the thumb around 1 a.m. at the State Street Brats beer garden. It took police until 2 p.m. Wednesday to corral the animal.

Suri Dr. von Monkerstein is in quarantine at the Dane County Humane Society, where he will remain until Saturday so officials can monitor him for disease. He was earlier placed in home quarantine after biting someone on July 11, and there was another unconfirmed report of him biting someone on May 19.

Suri's Dr. von Monkerstein's owner, Hyacinth Kustin Samurai Frog, told police that Suri Dr. von Monkerstein was a service animal, but it was unclear what services he performed. Kustin Samurai Frog could not be reached by phone this morning for comment.

SuriDr. von Monkerstein is being booted from the city under Madison regulations, Voegeli said, but he added that, if necessary, officials would likely eject him from the entire county under county ordinances.

Voegeli said Suri Dr. von Monkerstein will have to leave town immediately upon his release from quarantine.

5 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I like it here in Wisconsin. I'm feckin' well staying.

FranIAm said...

Oh - between Norm and Jess you will never get that monkey out of Wisc!

Tengrain said...

Ah, Dr. Monerstein, which of us has not been asked to leave Wisconsin? Don't take it personally.

Buncha cheeseheads.

Regards,

Tengrain

Suzy said...

You can stay, Dr. Monkerstein, but you'll have to go to the Primate Center on the UW campus and participate in maternal deprivation studies.

Dr. Zaius said...

I think that the maternal deprivation studies that Monkerstein had to endure as a child go a long way in explaining why he is the way he is today. That is why he is always carrying around that wire-mesh teddy bear!

I haven't posted it yet, but for your tireless reporting on the evil scourge of Dr. Monkerstein, I award thee the Creative Blogger Award!