Friday, January 18, 2008

What do we want?
The C-Word!
When do we want it?

Change has become so overwrought that pundits are now saying the "C-word" rather than have to force their fingers to type out the h-a-n-g-e. But look, there's fresh change right there because only in 2007 or so did the C-word mean "cunt". Looks like we've got to come up with something else to call Ann Coulter. She has so owned the term, though. It'll be hard to make the, er, change.

Now that the word is entirely meaningless, I'd like to harken back to the halcyon days of maybe July to remind ourselves that when we mean change we can be talking about a new direction for the Iraq occupation (that direction being home), or for the economy (trickled on long enough. T'aint working.) We could even pin our hopes on John Edwards and think that change could mean a return to populism, casting out this mystifying elitism that has struck us dumb. Overarching these specifics, change to me means that we are sick and tired of the day to day acceptance of lyin', thievin' politicians.

And folks, that includes parsing. We all remember Bill Clinton's famous instance- 'it depends on what your definition of 'is' is'- We are suffering through the after-effects of the worst case in history: the link between Saddam and Al Qaida. Between Saddam and 9/11. Between Saddam and terrorism. John Edwards created a video of some world-class parsing by Hillary Clinton in the debates. Yesterday I watched the Willard M. Romney clip where he says he has no lobbyists in his campaign. He very carefully states to the reporter that there are no lobbyists running his campaign. No lobbyists attend senior strategy meetings. Then the reporter asks about a specific lobbyist and Willard says that guy ain't being paid. So far so good for the new W. Technically not lying. Probably acceptable to the mormon god, I don't know, I never took those Latter Day Saints up on the offer for the free book. But then, right after technically not lying to the reporter, the new DubbaYoo says "I don't have any lobbyists at my elbow that are arguing for one industry or another industry". Bzzzzzt. Ron Kaufman is a lobbyist. Paid or unpaid, he is frequently with Romney on the campaign trail. How do I know this? Easy, mere seconds prior Romney admits as much.

The C-word. Change. Look, even if the words are technically true thanks to careful placement of modifiers if the intent is to deceive, it is a lie.


Randal Graves said...

I don't have any lobbyists or magical underpants working for me. Time for a cunt, er, change. Sorry, Ann!

I'll believe in change when I see it.

dguzman said...

Ditto about the change, Randal. (but not about the magic mitt-panties)

Looks like this Mitt-bot has the kung-fu grip workin'.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ha! Best Romney image EVER. The robotic division at Disney Land has been working overtime. Romney for Robo-Prez!

Distributorcap said...

but the tweetys of the world are screaming we have the NEW romney -- he has mussed his hair

i swear romney has never has taken a shit in his life....

Freida Bee said...

Ask Mitt anything indeed! Except what the c-word looks like.

I think he stands for the kind of change that'll get him elected, "Well yes, I was pro-choice, but I'm not anymore. I've changed."