Monday, November 19, 2007

Wundrun's True Employment Tales

One of the features of Monkey Muck, written by that awesome typewriting Monkey, Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein is his "True Employment Tales".

Though the last time I received a paycheck with my name on it was four and a half years ago, I have had a very wide variety of odd jobs in my background. So, to shamelessly steal ideas from my betters, I bring you installment one of Wundrun's True Employment Tales:

Dirty Board Game Assembler

(the photo is not of the actual game)

My day job was a very crappy outside sales job, which I will save for a later installment. My roommate had a friend who published board games that are sold in adult book stores and at places like Spencer Gifts. In the evenings we would go to a very old, dark, cold warehouse to put together the pieces of the board game. Little mini whips, little mini blind folds, little mini erotica. There was sort of a makeshift assembly line so I felt like Lucy and the chocolates except rather than something you could eat, there were just little plastic collars to try to get into each box quickly.

The main thing I remember about the job is feeling really sad for anyone that would think sitting around playing erotic board games would be fun. I ain't saying I'm against getting a little silly when the drawers are down, but this game just seemed ...boring. I mean, if you're naked and you can't figure out what to do, I doubt a board game is going to expand your horizons.


dguzman said...

Great thoughts at the end there, Jess. And too true.

Also, I picture this game being brought out at a modern-day redux version of the "key party" from the 70s, with a bunch of middle-aged wannabe hipsters eating popcorn and playing this game, just hoping someone will flirt with them so they won't have to take a risk. How pathetic.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

What a bittersweet memory you have laid on us.

Dr. Zaius said...

I wanna be the "TOP" hat, not the shoe.