This will end in a book review.

Hi all y'all. It's the end of the school year so of course there are seven million end of the school year field trips, recitals, parades, plays and festivals, so I've been off doing real life. Now is the time to pretend that global warming does/does not exist based on the temperature in my neighborhood. Glad to say you can all continue to drive your land yachts even if it does cost 75cents a mile to do so! Mother Earth has put on a sweater this spring. It is cold! (Do I give a fig* if there are ozone warning days in Dallas due to the heat? No, I do not. Scientists can do that until we de-fund all of the Darwinist bastards).

Last Tuesday night midnight found me lying in the dark with hot tears streaming down my cheeks and into my ears. This is all the fault of Suzy at Luminiferous Ether. You see, Suzy said that a certain book was worthy of a spot on the bookshelf next to "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" and "To Kill a Mockingbird". These are two of my favorite books of all time. Those were fighting words, Suzy! Over-reaching at best, blasphemy at worst.

I went post-haste* (in interweb time that's click, click another click, search, click) to Audible. com where I found the book called "The Book Thief". I get one book a month at Audible on my membership and had already listened to May's book "The Brothers K" (excellent). The Book Thief, though only about 12 hours long, was two credits! Books rarely cost two credits. Then I read the reviews, all glowing.

I splurged. After downloading I discovered that this book is categorized in kids' books. Crap. Then I started to listen. The first half hour practically makes no sense at all. The narrator of the book is Death and Death is talking about colors and discussing the story at hand in a completely non-linear fashion. 'Hard to get into' is an apt descriptor.

The reason I like to listen to books on my iPod is that I can listen to them while doing something else. In the summer I sit at swim lessons, knitting socks and listening to a book. This weekend I painted a fence and listened to most of The Book Thief getting past the odd beginning. I'm glad I did. Death the narrator tells the story of a young German girl who is taken in by foster parents near Munich at the start of World War II. As far as thinking a kids' novel would be somewhat dumbed down, rest assured that when Death tells the story, and when the language alone should help to get the book banned in book banning territory (f'rinstance: 'ass-scratcher' is a term of endearment) it's really hard to fathom that this book has been written for a youth audience. But I'm so glad it has.

Tuesday night I started listening. I was nearing the end and I thought I'd give it an hour or so before bed. Four hours later the story was over and I was crying. If I was someone watching me cry over the end of a book like that, I'd probably have to punch me in the stomach for being such an idiot. But it was that remarkable. It can go on that shelf by "To Kill a Mockingbird". Thanks lots, Suzy!

*When John McCain is elected president we will all be required to use idioms like 'don't give a fig' and interjections like 'Alas'. We will all be harkening back to an erstwhile Norman Rockwell past all the while blowing the shit out of brown people around the world. Alas!