Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Who Is Today's Saint?

Did anyone ever see the Sting movie "Brimstone and Treacle"? One of the characters in the movie is an atheist who writes church hymns. (He also enjoys 'communion' with his secretary, if you know what I mean. wink. wink.)

At the risk of being that guy (sans secretary) today I post a WITS post right after a crazy catholic stuff post because today's saint is a famous one.

Cue sweeping music:

Today's saint is St. George, the dragon guy!

According to my Saint-A-Day Guide, George lived in the late third century. he is the Patron of Boy Scouts, cavalry, England, equestrians, farmers, horses, Portugal; he is invoked against herpes*, leprosy and syphilis*.

Saint-A-Day says:

George was a Palestinian soldier who suffered martyrdom in the persecutions of Diocletian. His cult flourished in England during the crusades-perhaps the Crusaders imported it from the Middle East. King Edward III declared George England's Patron, and Henry V invoked his aid before the Battle of Agincourt. The story of George and the dragon-a parable of Good versus Evil--has several variations. In the classic version he is a young knight who rescues a maiden princess from a flying reptile with bad breath. he pierces the creature with his lance, leads it through town using the princess's garter as a leash, and thereby converts thousands of pagans to Christianity. In the East, George is a demigod who endures a series of tortures, such as running in red-hot iron shoes. In the Wests he is a Cappadocian prince whose bravery wins even the Empress Alexandra to the Faith. There is even an ignoble George. In his "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" Gibbon depicts George as a black marketeer dealing in bacon. "Riding Saint George"--that is sexual intercourse with the woman on top--was long considered a certain way of begetting a bishop.

If St. George were alive today he wouldn't be a saint, he'd be Justice from American Gladiator.

*I would love to know how that invocation works. I think maybe a condom would be a little safer choice.


M.Yu said...

Martyr eh... in my book they call those guys masochists.

Red hot iron shoes...sounds like me as a kid when I went to Church once a year at Easter and had to wear the same pair of dress shoes...every year.
Now THAT was suffering for God!

I can relate to the bacon and the woman on top thing.

Spirula said...

"Riding Saint George"--that is sexual intercourse with the woman on top

Hahahaha! Like that's even possible!


thepoetryman said...

"*I would love to know how that invocation works. I think maybe a condom would be a little safer choice."

Hard to utter anything, much less an invocation with a condom on. :>)

Randal Graves said...

Is there a patron saint of condoms? "I beseech thee, O smiter of sperm, verily protect this womb from any naughtiness that would ensue from rupture. Amen."

Dr. Zaius said...

I have feeling that is not the only time a garter has been used as a leash, nor the first time that a lady's undergarment has converted a pagan to Christianity.

Jess Wundrun said...

m.yu I too had some red hot shoes, but they were not iron. I wonder if one can do the St. George thing while eating bacon? hmmmm.

spirula St. George was no missionary. ha ha.

the poetryman alas! I will never know.

randal graves perhaps this is where all the confusion about rapture comes from.

dr. zaius the original happy underpants?

dguzman said...

"Oh St George, protector of lips, please guard my mouth from the herpey..."

Batocchio said...

As far as saints go, on the British Isles I have to prefer St. Andrew, St. Davy and St. Patrick. ;-)

There is a mummer play about St. George and the Dragon that's pretty interesting, though.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I like this guy George!