Friday, September 5, 2008

A Shout Out For Country First!!!

Seems the McCain theme is "Country First". That's Great! I have been spending the last few months in the exact same endeavor. If you don't normally read my blog, that makes you a) visitor 31 today and b) unaware of my pledge to spend all of my discretionary dollars on products that are Made In America. Yay!!!

You know, Barack Obama has not made a "Country First" pledge. But John McCain has! Doubtless this means that John McCain is doing all he can to buy American products. I bet his family does too. Let's check on Cindy.

Cindy is NOT an elitist even though she claims with a straight face that one cannot get around that big bumpy windy forested state of Arizona by Prius-try as you might. No, all Arizonans get about by means of private jet. That state rocks!!! I am so moving there once I figure out how to fly. 'Cause the lessons and the gas for learnin' are free too!!!

Cindy's outfit for her little fund-raising-not-mentioning-George-Bush-or-what-she-was doing-when-Katrina-struck-not-drugs-kay?-so-fuck-you-libbie speech at the RNC with Laura-my-cheeks-hurt-from-smilin'-so-wicked-I-WILL-go-to rehab!! while not being elitist cost approximately 1/3 more than my house. Here's the math: My house= $200,000. Cindy's outfit= $300,000. I'm sure that if I lose my house the McCain's will feel my pain. It'd be almost like Cindy accidently forgot those diamond earrings on the desk in the suite at the Marriot. Fuck! I hate when that happens. Then again, they have insurance for stupid bonehead moves like that, all I have is a personal sense of dropping out of that promising "ownership society". Crap.

You know there is a figure given by one of my 'buy America first' sources that says that if all American households shifted $20 of their discretionary dollars away from a product made overseas to a product made in America, we would create 5,ooo,ooo new jobs. Imagine that! Criminy, if Cindy's outfit was domestic there'd be 4 people who'd have pensions and kids headed for college. On one outfit! Really don't you think we ought to elect them? By that math, every day the McCain's are in office 4 new jobs are created just so the crypt keeper can drape herself in jewels and chintz. That's economy and if you don't think so, then you're just anti....well, anti something. It'll come to me.

Ok. It's next to impossible to discern whether McCain's tour bus is an American product or if it is imported. If you know let ME know. Thanks.

Also, could you please find out where those McCain T-shirts are coming from? Doubtless they are Union Made USA worker products, hell we probably don't even need to check. But if you can, would you? Thanks, you're a dear.


Randal Graves said...

I would check, but I have to work so I can help pay for a gallon of their jet fuel.

Matthew Hubbard said...

Princess Sparkle Pony, the final arbiter in these things, says the outfit cost is mostly the diamond earrings, so it really isn't like Nancy Reagan's $50,000 dress all those years ago.

Micgar said...

What I'd like to know is what "country first"!? It doesn't seem to be our country first!

Anonymous said...

So in touch, those McCains. I'm confident that they have intimate knowledge of the travails of the average American.

Never mind that for McCain, the mythical average American makes significantly more than real Americans. But his intentions are good.


dguzman said...

As soon as I saw that "Country First" thing, I knew I was DEFINITELY not voting for them. I hate country music. Maybe if it had said "Jazz First" or even "New Wave First" I might've given 'em a look, but a vote for Toby Keith? Not on your life.

Dr. Zaius said...

"It's next to impossible to discern whether McCain's tour bus is an American product or if it is imported. If you know let ME know."

That is a difficult question to answer, as John McCain has several several Straight Talk Express tour buses. The bus in this picture (from this article) is made by Prevost.

Don't forget the awesome MTV McCain "Cribs" Exclusive. "It's 45 feet long, about 13, 3 inches high. We actually bought our first bus on eBay in August of 2007 for an undisclosed price. It's got eight tires sitting on 22-inch rims."

Take that, Hollywood.

The Cunning Runt said...

You all ought to consider that if we vote for McCain/Palin, we'll each get a similar bus and seven homes in the poshest neighborhoods, because, you know, we're all in this together, and he has our best interests in mind.

And I hear they run on Clean Coal, so they're totally "green."

Freida Bee said...

How many military jobs will it create if we all buy our tour buses in Alaska? It's near Russia and now I'm confused. What's wrong with good ol' fashioned Hecho en Mexico?

Freida Bee said...

Oh yeahs, I gave you an reward if you were needing an excuse to wear your house, I mean dress, out in public. (Does this mean I have to return the earrings I found at the Marriot to CIndy? Crap. I thought they were cubic zirconium all this time.)