Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Who Is Today's Saint?

I am sorry, because I've been saving this saint for a while and then his feast day came and I almost missed it. If you have any time left today, please revere, and if you see this tommorrow (aka Thursday) well, I'm sure the catholics have a way of giving you back a day to revere this saint.

Today's saint is Gabriel Possenti.

Dig the outfit, he's like the Danny Zuko of saints, for cri- yi.

According to my Saint-A-Day Guide:

Gabriel's father was a lawyer and a leading Catholic layman of Assissi, begetting thirteen childreen children of his wife before she died of exhaustion. Orphaned at four, the boy was raised by Jesuits, who nicknamed him Il Damerino--the little ladies' man. As an adolescent he postponed joining the preisthood until explicitly instructed to do so by a Holy Picture of Our Lady Of Sorrows. Until his death of tuberculosisihe was a model novice, humble, obedient, and always wrapped in studdeded chains in order to mortify his potentially sinful flesh--so it is small wonder that at the time of his canonization, the Sacred Congregation of Rites recommended him as Patron of college students. But Our Saint has recently been adopted--by a Bagriel Possenti Society of Arlignton, Virginia--as the Patron Saint of handgun owners. It seems that in 1859 or '60, the village of Isola, where he lived, was threatened by Goblins--that is, a gang of Garibaldi's rebels. They were apparently subdued when the slender cassock-wearing Gabriel appeared before them brandishing a pair of pistols and, to prove he meant business, blew away a passing lizard.

If Saint Gabriel were alive today he would not be a saint, he would be Germaine Gregarious.

A Good News Post

Fans of Barbara Kingsolver who've read her "Prodigal Summer" are aware of the plight of the American Chestnut tree. A sub-theme of the novel is the destruction of the trees in the early 1900's. When the trees began to die out, locals cut down the majestic trees to be able to use the wood before it became too rotted to be valuable. Unfortunately, it nearly made the species extinct.

This month the National Geographic magazine reports that :

Blight-resistant American chestnuts on a Virginia research farm are striking back at the fungal disease that wiped out four billion of the majestic trees in the early 1900's. The superior pollen of this newly developed breed may be the key to protecting trees from Maine to Alabama-and returning Appalachia to a time when spring meant American chestnuts in bloom. Plant pathologist Fred Hebard has been on a 40-year crusade to do just that. He and his team pollinated about 500 trees last summer. Hundreds of devoted volunteers tend those trees and others in the foundation's orchards. Next year they'll sow a handful of forest test sites with what they hope are the first blight-resistant nuts. How will Hebard gauge success? "When I'm long gone, and someone 50 years from now measures one of our trees in the forest-a hundred feet and thriving."

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Primary Attacks

Yesterday I made light of the skeezoid attempt to plant a bad image of Barack Obama in the minds of voters that was done by someone inside the Clinton campaign.

In all seriousness, what disturbs me about these attacks are that they play to the voters on the right who will take them and run with them through the general election. Remember that Bill Clinton was painted as a serial philanderer in the '92 primaries. The Clinton's know what it's like to have to change the narrative that you pick up in the primaries. I think that'd be a good reason for easier-going. For sticking to the issues. Let the right wing implode itself by airing its own scandals. There is some good theorizing that it is Mitt Romney who is behind the attacks on McCain. They are setting up the narrative. McCain may have been able to quiet the noise by blaming it on an out of control liberal NY Times (for the record: ha!) But what lingers is that we are reminded that McCain is not Mr. Clean in government, the way he has fought so hard to show us since the Keating Five scandal.

Another thing that is important to note is that there isn't a single thing wrong with the photo of Barack Obama that was released. It does show that the Clinton campaign doesn't mind pandering to the least common denominator in American politics which is very disturbing. They are furthering the narrative that the right wing so loves. He is Barack HUSSEIN Obama after all.

This morning I searched for the similar attacks that Obama has made on Clinton. Visceral, emotion-based attacks. I couldn't find any. Here is a link to FactHub, Clinton's own rebuttal page. Other than remarks about Hillary's tears prior to New Hampshire, I can't find anything that compares. On FactHub itself, the rebuttals are nearly all made to statements about policy that Obama has misrepresented. That's politics the way they are played. For instance, one rebuttal involves Obama misrepresenting Clinton's position on NAFTA. The Clinton camp notes that Obama seems to be making up her opinions for her, trying to say what she thinks instead of pointing to anything concrete. Except that NAFTA was a Bill Clinton era initiative, and Hillary is running on her experience in that administration. I'm sorry but you cannot have it both ways.

Simian Hearts

Didn't they toss around the idea of transplanting baboon hearts a few years ago? I only know two simians, and it seems neither one of them has a ticker that's worth a damn. Yesterday we discussed Dr. Z's undertheweatherhood. Today we learn that Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein is going to have some balloon art done on his heart. I googled your surgeon, Dr. MvM. Seems he graduated from Granada Medical College. No, I did not misstype, he wasn't good enough to get into Grenada. Your surgeon has links to the old ford model somehow. Here's a photog of him practicing his "medicine" that I found on the webs:

So, good luck to you, ya big monkey. I'm sending you this bouquet of flowers. I hope you luv it because it cost me really big bucks. Be sure to suck out all the helium and talk funny to Sparky. Maybe right after the procedure so that she thinks you are permanently altered. Ha!

Monday, February 25, 2008

How About a Wafer Thin Mint

At 4:30 Friday morning I was awoken by the precious pitter patter of little feet running harem skarem toward the bathroom. Then the dulcet tones of the 4yo puking in the toilet. I do not lie when I tell you that she threw up 18 times in the next 24 hours.

The 7yo was less than gracious about the feelings of the 4yo suffering the flu. She went so far as to jump on the bed, not thinking that her sister, who had vomit coming out of her ears, was really all that sick.

But ah! flu bugs. They are so democratic. Seeking out the nearest host regardless of arrogant denial that you'll get sick too. Quickly the 7yo was felled. Guess who was the bigger baby when it was her turn to hang her head in tidy-bowl land?

But we survived, and began the process of recovery. We sustained a full day and a half of vomit free living. From early Sunday morning until....Until tonight. 7yo pretended that her lettuce in her salad was making her gag. Until it did. Then she went to the bathroom and threw up. Cheerfully returned to the table and announced that her lettuce made her throw up. Smiled, even.

Following suit, the 4yo thought her noodles might make her sick. She ran to the bathroom and threw up. Into the toilet. Not realizing that she had started something she couldn't finish, she shut the lid.

Then she puked spaghetti all over the toilet lid, the toilet tank, the bowl and most of the floor surrounding the toilet.

Did I mention that Ben is out of town on a corporate field trip?

Mother's day is not enough to cover shit like this.

Hillary's campaign insinuates something about Obama

As you've no doubt heard by now, Clinton campaign staffers released this photo to the Drudge report, trying to create an insinuation of something sinister in Obama's background.

I find it particularly disingenuous of the Clinton campaign. It seems obvious to me that picture is taken completely out of context.

After all, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that Hillary's been to a wedding shower or two in her day.

Update: I added the link for the boys who haven't had to play games at bridal showers. Look here.

For Dr. Zaius - Who Eagerly Awaits Global Warming

Dr. Zaius is feeling a little under the weather. He comes from 1,971 years hence - post global warming apocalypse doncha know. All this snow and cold is just hard on an orangutan's system. Recently I had my own little rough patch and Dr. Z cheered me up by reminding me that no matter how bad you've got it, others are doing much better!

So, knowing that the last thing you need when you are suffering is to listen to others bitch I post the following:

If that was too uplifting, here are the children to help you:

Disclaimer: These videos represent the opinions of the artists presented herein. They do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the management at I Was Just Wondering. Particularly the bit about Santa.

You can send get well greetings to Dr. Zaius here.

Have a nice day!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Something seems familiar...

Where have I seen this lady before?




Oh, crap.

The Huffington Post is there far before me pointing out the similarity between Cindy and Vicki. Just Weird.

For the record, I agree with smarter bloggers that this is not a story about an affair or sex. It is a story about how 1/5 of the Keating Five gang is still actively corrupt. Dr. Zaius is all over that.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Why Can't Republicans Get Behind Anyone

Until they've become a victim?

There's a sickness with these people.

(Actually, Pensito Review has a good bunch of theorizin' as to whose "Mitts" are all over this story.)

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

Many bloggers have noted that George W Bush has set a record for the all-time low approval rating. He also set the record for the all-time high approval rating at 90 just after 9/11.

This means he has also set the record for the most precipitous fall of all time, a whopping 71 point decline.

(Harry Truman had previously held both the high and low records as well, dropping from 89 to 22. History remembers Harry Truman kindly. History thinks Bush is a major league twit and an ignorant anomaly).

In related news, Vice President Dick Cheney has reported that having an approval rating in the teens has not in the least hampered his ambitions to completely screw the country. Nancy Pelosi agreed.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hey Leftie Bloggers It's Time to Stop Fighting Each Other

And go back to fighting these people:

They hate Obama Bahama Mimamma and that Clinton Lady who let her husband do all those terrible things equally.

Assorted Thoughts:

If they are going to be spending most of their time on their knees, maybe they should pick up a scrub brush and start cleaning. That kitchen is a wreck!

Apparently, the "End Times" are a moveable feast. Even though the all-knowing, all-powerful God has a date in mind, it is really how we vote that will bring about the End Times.

Oh, and George W. Bush is not religious enough.

Mencken was not talking about Bush.

It's hard to believe but it is true that Mencken did not mean George W. Bush. H.L. Mencken said
As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

and many people believe this describes George W. Bush. (h/t to Zoey & Me) If you believe GW to be the everyman cowboy just off the Texas Ranch I guess you are closer to Mencken's opinion. Except that Bush (and not the Kennedys) comes closest to what could be considered an aristocracy in this country of just about any politician in the last 60 years. What Mencken was lamenting was the very American idea that anyone can grow up to be president. He called the middle class the 'booboisie'. Mencken was an elitist, and if one remembers that Bush was born in Newhaven Connecticut, educated at Andover, Yale and Harvard, and is distantly related to Queen Elizabeth, one can see our Bush is definately one of the elite.

Mencken would have been opposed to Bill Clinton. He would have approved the ascendency of both of the Bushes.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

It's the environment, stupid.

Why isn't the environment even being discussed in this election? I just voted and then filled out a two-page exit poll, which had the question "which issue is the most important" and then gave only three possible answers 1. the war in Iraq, 2. the economy and 3. I don't remember three. You could only choose one answer.

In what can only be seen as an improvement, there was no talk about "values" on my poll. Of course, it was tailored for democratic voters and we all know we have no values. Which reminds me, "atheist" was not listed as a religion choice, even though right-wing fundies would like to have you believe we get together every full moon to worship satan.

Last night at Blue Gal's Saloon, Morse Tengrain [thank you DCup] said that he received a push poll call wondering if he knew that Barack Obama fathered a black child. He swears it was not a joke.

I am so lazy!

Lord, lord I am a lazy cuss. If I didn't have a healthy dose of guilt hard-wired in my raised catholic self I could really enjoy my laziness, but alas.

It seems my bookmarks are carrying lots of blogs that I haven't put on my blogroll. Every time I visit one of these wondrous places I get all guilty because I know I've got to spend the time updating my blogroll. Especially because in some of these places these really talented writers and artists have linked up my tripe.

I see that people are reproducing their blogrolls in posts so that more techno'thority will shine down upon the hoi polloi. So, crossing two to-do's off my list at once I am both updating my blogroll and putting the whole thing here.

New Additions of fabulity:

Caroline's: Caroline's Crayons
Comrade Kevin's: Chrestomathy
Mathman's: When Will I Use This?
Bub's place: Sprawling Ramshackle Compound
Germaine Gregarious: The Nefarious Lair of Lesbian Gangs Packing Pink Pistols
Badtux the Snarky Penguin
Spartacus: My Saturday Evening Post
Barbara Bruederlin's: Bad Tempered Zombie
Bing's: Happy Jihad's House of Pancakes
Lulu's: Land o' Lulu
McGone's: International House of Blogcakes
Fade's: House of the Rising Sons
Dean Wormer's: The Dean's Office
Nina's: Nature Remains
Kim's: A Sunny Thought
Threading Water
Dale's: Passion of the Dale
Jennifer's: Coasting Richly
Batocchio's: Vagabond Scholar
Pissed Off Patricia's: Morning Martini

And the old ones:
* Zaius Nation
* Yoga Korunta
* Who's In Charge Here
* Never What You Think It Is (Whiskey Marie)
* The Needs of the Few
* The Great Endarkenment
* Sorghum Crow
* Republic of Sestakastan is now Media Needle
* Quaker Dave
* Pygalgia
* Princess Sparkle Pony's Photo Blog
* PoliTits
* Phydeaux speaks
* Omnipotent Poobah Speaks
* News Sophisticate
* Monkey Muck (Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein)
* Mock Paper Scissors
* Luminiferous Ether
* Lotsa 'Splainin to DoLOL
* LOLZ Theist: Making fun o' the fundies
* Little Bang Theory
* L'ennui Melodieux: The maison de Randal Graves
* Jonestown
* Impeachment and Other Dreams
* I, Splotchy
* Here Comes Johnny Yen Again
* Freida Bee
* FranIAm
* Enriched Geranium
* Electronic Cerebrectomy
* Distributorcap NY
* Dependable Renegade
* Death Wore a Feathered Mullet
* Commander Other's Otherwhirled
* Blue Gal
* Beginning to Bird (dguzman)
* Axis of Evil Knievel (Daily Dose of History)
* Atheist in a Mini-van

God, I'm tired now. Best go nap.


I got this done and then last night realized I had missed a bunch. Gad.

Here are more unforgettable, eminently wonderful blogs that I am blogrolling:

CDP's Aunt Dahlia
Boxer Rebellion
Zoey & Me's Cat In the Bag
Suzi Riot

Friday, February 15, 2008

Florida and Michigan-suck it up.

I've been hearing a lot of conversations regarding whether Michigan and Florida should have 'do-overs' regarding their primaries. The answer is simple: No, they should not.

There is overheated rhetoric that democrats in these states will be "disenfranchised" if their votes are not allowed to count toward the delegate totals for either Obama or Clinton. This argument is ridiculous for several reasons.

First, those states moved their primaries up because they felt that, as has happened in the past, states with later primaries are no longer relevant in the process. Did the Michigan or Florida democratic parties care about the disenfranchisement of voters from those states? Are die-hard John Edwards voters "disenfranchised" because he's no longer on their ballots thanks to early primaries?

Second, and more importantly, the nominating process of any political party is up to that party. If the democratic party wanted to nominate its candidate by choosing the person who could stand on their head the longest they'd have every right to do that. Primaries are only about one hundred years old. Caucuses are much older. The parties themselves used to come together to choose their most viable candidate. Political parties themselves were disdained by our founding fathers. In Wisconsin we have open primaries and you can register to vote on voting day. Really, if you consider the intent of primaries, Wisconsin's system is a little crazy, too. Republicans are able, since McCain has all but tied up the republican nomination, to vote for Hillary here - a wise move on their part since polls show she could lose to McCain in the general election, but Obama would win handily.

In Florida, the state legislature determined that it wanted an earlier primary. Some, like Air America commentator Randi Rhodes, believe that it's not fair then to punish Florida voters by not counting their delegates. Florida's legislature enjoys a strong republican majority. Imagine a scenario where a legislature is really far-right wing. In a move akin to gerrymandering, that legislature could wreak havoc with the democratic party by imposing an election day that the party disagrees with. This year in Florida the democratic party was compliant, but it begs the question: what if they were not? State legislatures really should not have any right to formulate party business.

The fact of the matter is that Michigan and Florida broke with the national democratic party and were sanctioned for it. Of course, their delegates should be seated at the convention, they are needed there to vote on the platform and attend to other party business. But as far as apportioning the delegates, they either should not be apportioned or their numbers should be split 50/50 and given to Obama and Clinton evenly.

Hillary Clinton does not want a "do-over", and I agree that there shouldn't be one. She should, however, recognize that she was wrong to have her name on the ballot in Michigan. She should not try to get Michigan or Florida delegates seated in her column. If Obama leads her in the popular vote but holds a narrow lead in voted delegates, she should back off a strategy of asking for the super delegates to throw their weight behind her.

Hillary Clinton, and the dem parties of Michigan and Florida seem determined to act in their own self-interest before the interests of the nation as a whole. I'd hate to see them profit from that attitude.

The Look of Love

McCain hearts Bushie

I would like this better if it had a boom-chicka-wow-wow soundtrack, otherwise it sums it up pretty well.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Maybe he was going to rehab so it was all his fault.

Department of Homeland Security agents detained a baby and his family who were traveling from American Samoa to Hawaii so the child could undergo heart surgery. While being held in the locked room the child died.

Baby held in locked room at airport dies

A 14-day-old infant traveling here for heart surgery died at Honolulu International Airport on Friday after he, his mother and a nurse were detained by immigration officials in a locked room, a lawyer for the boy's family said.

The Honolulu medical examiner's office yesterday identified the infant as Michael Futi of Tafuna, American Samoa's largest village, which is located on the east coast of Tutuila Island. Autopsy findings have been deferred.

According to police, the child died at 5:50 a.m. It is unknown why immigration officials detained the mother, the nurse and the child.

Scott Ishikawa, a spokesman for the state Department of Transportation, said the child went into respiratory failure while in the customs office, which is located near the baggage claims area of the overseas terminal. Airport paramedics were called about 6:10 a.m., he said.

The group arrived on a Hawaiian Airlines flight that landed at 5:30 a.m.

"We were later told the baby was coming here for heart surgery," Ishikawa said.

Attorney Rick Fried said the child had come to Hawai'i from American Samoa for heart surgery.

The boy's family plans to file a wrongful death lawsuit, Fried said

Emphasis mine.

I'm sure the righties will find a way to blame the victim in this case, too.

A Torch Song for Valentine's Day

Maybe you remember that I posted a love song for 9/11 on September 11th. That is the day that I very first kissed my husband in the coatroom at my sister's wedding. (I met him the day before). Well, now that it is the international day of luuuuuv and romance, I thought I'd let you know that for me, it harbors really bad memories.

Dork that I am, I got married on Valentine's Day once. Not in hindsight but in actual fact on that day, it was one of the worst days of my life. Lots of people say they knew they were making a mistake on th day of their wedding. Count me among them.

We had a big Friday evening wedding. To me, it was a pain in the ass. There were 200 or so guests. It was lent, so half the catholics had ordered fish and somewhere along the line the most devout of the catholics were served steak. The band we hired -- I refused to have a dj -- changed their lead singer from the time we hired them to when they played. He both sucked and looked like a freak. My mother's friend decided to freestyle the decorations without me knowing about it and plastered brass cupids throughout the room. The hotel was hosting a children's group. Kids rode up and down in the glass elevator right next to the cocktail reception, pushing the buttons for each floor. My suitcases were left in my car and the best man who was supposed to bring them up to the room earlier in the day was too busy drinking at the open bar and smoking cigars to get them for me. I did it myself. Have you ever seen a bride schlepping her own luggage through her own reception? My dad bugged, ran after me and yanked the bags out of my hands taking care of the errand for me.

I remember having about thirty drinks in my hand and taking a sip out of each one, setting it down and losing it. No, I did not get drunk because there wasn't the opportunity. I think I had to dance to the electric slide, macarena and the chicken dance though the band was specifically instructed against those songs. I couldn't find my new husband when the time had come to dance with him. My friend started a fight with his sister because she thought his sister had taken his bouquet.

The two families didn't like each other, though we've known each other since I was in kindergarten. My ex-father-in-law thought giving me the finger at the altar during the rehearsal was high humor.

It was on my wedding night and during our honeymoon that I discovered my new husband had a phobia against having sex in hotel rooms. (He thinks they spy on you). In fact, the other guests at the small tropical resort where we stayed were always amused that the husband of the newlywed pair was always up late in the bar and the bride was always up early reading books on her patio.

We lasted eighteen months. I'm cool with that now. It turns out that "starter marriages" are hip. Wow, me, hip! Whodathunk?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

For Dr. Zaius

Evil spock turned me on to the joys of the Threadless Tee. If I knew Dr. Zaius' address I would send him this one. While I know that regular parcel post can be slow, I don't think it is 1,971 years slow.

No, I did not post this video last week.

McCain is just not as inspiring somehow. Pretty dang true.

Here's the original.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Activate the Blog Tree-
Help is Needed

The left blogosphere is rushing to action to help the victims of Tuesday's terrible storms. I first saw this at Pygalgia's place - a call for help from southern blogger monkeyfister who is in the middle of it all. If you've got ten bucks and a debit card you can call United Way directly and leave a donation.

monkeyfister says:

Anybody who was thinking about sending help can go here: Right now,
I recommend the:

American Red Cross
Mid-South Chapter
1400 Central Avenue

Memphis, TN

United Way of the Mid-South phone in a donation at (901) 433-4300.

They take DIRECT donations, so you can skip all the National-level waste and delay, AND they serve nearly every community in the effected radius.

Monkeyfister has asked for an impromptu blogswarm to help. What can you do?

So Long

Someone must have bleached the magic out of his underpants.

Romney to Suspend Campaign


Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Who is today's Saint?

Today is the Feast of Saint Amand. (No his last name wasn't 'Hammer'). Ugh. Amand was made a bishop in 629, but he wasn't given any territory to bishop over. Therefore, Amand was a wandering bishop who roamed much of France, Belgium, Germany and Flanders. He created quite a few monasteries, particularly in Belgium.

Because he was known for his hospitality he is the patron saint of brewers, bartenders, hotel workers, and beer and wine merchants. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence that some of the world's best beer comes from Belgian monasteries. Hmmm. You know there's a little polka ditty that goes 'in heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here'. Not sure why I'm digressing like this, except that now I have a polka stuck in my head. If there weren't two feet of snow on the road and if I didn't have those pesky family commitments, I would head right down to my local german bierstube and hoist a liter.

So to all my favorite bartenders, brewers, beer merchants and wine slingers: Happy St. Amand's Day!

Oh, and if Amand were alive today he would not be a saint, he would be Anthony Bourdain.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I can see the corner up ahead

Four years ago this was the video that moved me most before the election. Still, its basis was in fear--our fear of what the republicans would do with four more years in power. Of course, most of those fears have come true.

This year is different. There's been mudslinging and our democratic candidates have been guilty of some really poorly calculated statements.

Still there's this. This video says maybe there's hope. Maybe we can change our country.


There you have it. I am happy to announce that Barack Obama has my full support.

Friday, February 1, 2008

As My Daddy Used to Say...

If you ain't the lead dog the scenery never changes.

Mattyboy asked for more pictures of the dogs. Is this what you had in mind?

The boyz have been cooped up in the house because they were nearly freezing themselves to the trees whenever they went out for a pee. The fatboy was skipping going outside altogether, finding the corner of my daughters bed more convenient. On an up note, since her bedspread gets washed daily, her asthma's been better. The vet said maybe he has a urinary tract infection, would you bring in a pee sample from his first pee of the day? Ben took that sample Wednesday morning. I took it to the vet but stopped for one errand on the way. Since it was -10 or something, the pee froze while in my car. So I had to re-take the sample this morning. Fatboys first pee today? 4:30 am. I had to put on all my snow clothes and chase him around the snowy yard in the dark with a little tray you stick under him when he goes to pee. Yeah, I freaked him out. He'd start to pee, I'd lunge, he'd quit and run away. I'd chase and repeat. The first time he stood still long enough for me to stick the tray under him I discovered he wasn't squatting to pee, he was doing numba two. I did get the sample. I am heading straight for the vets with it.

Doin' time for the peeing crime