Friday, October 10, 2008

The Tooth Fairy Has Experienced a Derivitives Meltdown

It finally happened.

I have a few recurring fears about motherhood

  • 1. After big Christmas dinner w/wine, will fall asleep and forget about Santa coming.
  • 2. After big Easter dinner w/wine, will fall asleep and forget about Easterbunny coming.
  • 3. After nothing in particular will forget that even the tenth lost tooth requires trip from tooth fairy, will fall asleep and forget.

#3 happened last night.

We hear today that Governor Sarah Palin has written her own report on trooper gate and has exonerated herself. According to Princess Sparkle Pony, today should be celebrated as "Clear Yourself of All Wrongdoing Day".

Then, in the interest of honoring this day, I officially know nothing about why the fairy did not show up. I was asleep after all, how would I know?


GETkristiLOVE said...

The tooth fairy probably can't afford the gas.

CDP said...

I'm leaving, right now. How was I supposed to know that it wasn't a half day?

PS--we never did the tooth fairy thing, and my son has never gotten wise to it...mwah ha ha!

Sorghum Crow said...

The tooth fairy was helping Santa with his investment portfolio. I bet she'll show up tonight and leave a note explaining everything along with the requisite cash.

Dale said...

If you'd been drinking more this wouldn't have happened. Tsk tsk! Maybe if you got a large bug with wings and then squashed it, you could show the kid what happened and fully get yourself off the hook?

dguzman said...

Oh, this has indeed happened before in the Marsh House as well. The next night, The Tooth Fairy came, left a wonderful note (about population growth equalling more and more kids and all of them losing teeth, so she said she's having to spread it out over a couple of nights sometimes), and the requisite cash. P.S.--the Tooth Fairy writes in SILVER INK--use a silver sharpie.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It's all a slippery slope once you start letting those gay fairies in your house. Next thing you know they'll want to get married in your living room.

Dr. Zaius said...

Bah! The Tooth Fairy is a corporate shill!

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

I heard the Tooth Fairy associates with domestic terrorists, so it's probably just as well.

Randal Graves said...

If the tooth fairy looked like that, I'd rather be sleeping, too.

Comrade Kevin said...

The tooth fairy is a dangerous extremist with a funny name.

Ed said...

Our kids have received the explanation that there is only one tooth fairy and there are lots of kids loosing teeth. "You're in the queue. The tooth fairy will get to you one of these days." Of course, the matter is complicated by the fact that the value of teeth has inflated since I was a kid. A quarter just doesn't cover it anymore. There have to be little gifts nowadays. Bad parents? Probably. Fortunately for the tooth fairy, our kids are just about done losing teeth.

Kevin said...

This happened to me as a kid - and the week before the tooth fairy left a buck for my sister. I was devastated that there was no money under the pillow.

My father told me he was the tooth fairy's lawyer and that very morning was getting TF out of jail. It seems that TF was in a bar fight the night before, which is why TF couldn't make it to our house to deliver the buck. But because the bail was so high..., well, TF was unlikely to be able to give me any money.

My mother, upon hearing this, gave me a buck and said that my Dad would pay her back out of the fee he would wring out of TF, because after all, daddy was a shyster.

So you see, I come by it honestly.



Distributorcap said...

what is the standard tooth fairy rate in these tough economic times -- does she take stock in Lehman Brothers?

Ian smith said...

When I was a child growing up, I remember hearing the voices of Marlin Maddox and James Dobson on our kitchen radio while helping my mom cook in the kitchen or clean the house. Now as a mother in my own home, I too often listen to radio and cd’s. I love to listen to Kevin Swanson’s radio program while attending to the duties in my home.

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