Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Finally Something Broke Our Way

If you believe the thesis of the wildly popular book 'Blink' most people make up their minds in an instant. Really, we don't have undecided voters we have people who need to be assured that their first instinct is okay. If you think of Obama and McCain as brands it is obvious why Obama is ahead in the polls.

No one wants to be associated with the people who are currently buying the McCain dish soap. All weekend long the news showed that clip of the freaky lady from Minnesota who called Obama an Arab. They showed it as proof that McCain hadn't slipped over the edge into racist creepy bashing because he tells that lady 'no, no my opponent is a family man'.

The problem is that the world saw BATSHITCRAZY40CATSINTHEHOUSE lady and said 'whoa wait a minute-I'm not buying the same crap that lady buys'.

Not even Joe Sixpack wants to be associated with that crap.

How do I know? I asked.

Jess: Hi Joe. Say, did you see that all the guys in wife beaters are out for McCain?

Joe: Yeah, I did. But so's that crazy freaked hair lady. Fuck. I'm not on her stinky ass side.

Jess: Really? Why?

Joe: Do you think I'd ever get laid again if people thought I was in deep with the cat people? I fucking think not.

Jess: It's true that if you vote for the half black guy people might think you've got some mojo to go.

Joe: Fuckin' A. Plus, have you noticed that the republicans don't really seem to have my interests at heart?

Jess: yes, Joe I have. I have.


Matty Boy said...

I like this Joe guy. He's thinking about the things I think about, will cool girls like me if I vote for Grandpa.

And we came to the same conclusion.

Dr. Zaius said...

I think that you may be exaggerating a bit. I doubt that she has 40 cats. It's probably much more like 30, tops.

Randal Graves said...

I think Joe says these things in public but remains a tool behind closed doors.

Prove me wrong on November 4, Joe, prove me wrong.

CDP said...

I could watch that footage with McCain practically ripping the microphone out of that lady's hands 100 times. It would never get old.

dguzman said...

Oh boy, so I'm gonna have "mojo to go" when I vote for That One? Can I get a t-shirt or something, so I can show that off?

Comrade Kevin said...

When we'd fighin' them A-rabs, we don't need no A-rab president who will declare war on Iranistan.

The Cunning Runt said...

"Mojo To Go" may be the Prime Take-Away here.

Besides which, this is just plain brilliant.