Did you know that today is Whatever Splotchy Says Day?

Splotchy says post another Taint post.

Here you go, good man:


Oh, and: "V'z abg chggvat hc nabgure cbfg sbe lbhe qrznaqf, Fcybgpul! Fb gurer."

Is the war over?

I accidently got myself into a blogger war with Splotchy of the fabulous I, Splotchy. This is a mistake I will never make again. I used the word 'taint' in a title last week and then casually wondered to Splotchy when he would be using the 'taint' word again.

That meant war.

Taint is kind of a naughty word which describes the area of your body known as the perineum. It's called that because it t'aint your ____________ or your_____________. (Please fill in your own wholly inappropriate description of your genitals and your anus).

I was feeling like Napolean in Russia during this war when suddenly, Splotchy surrendered.

Little did he know I was just about to hoist the white flag myself.

So, Splotchy, you were a very intimidating combatant. I will never go to the mattresses with you again.

Enjoy Sister Rosetta Tharpe, on me. (Double click through to YouTube. Well worth it.)

Are you in touch with your Hui Yin?

I have been seeing an acupuncturist for the last few months. I went in for some odd symptoms that my regular doctor couldn't diagnose, like dizzy spells and some numbness. I can't tell you how effective the acupuncture is because while my symptoms have appeared with less frequency I have no way of knowing if that's the acupuncture or something else.

I think it is hard for a person who thinks with a western mind to get a handle on the philosophy of acupuncture. My doctor wants me to look at whole systems and I, as evidenced above, want to know if the current prescription is effective or not effective. I will say this, about once a week I go to see the acupuncturist, spend a few minutes of unpleasantness getting the needles put in-not painful but I get the skeeves once in a while- and then I get a really comfortable hour long rest accompanied by eastern music with labels like 'Acupuncture for the Mind'. Groovy. I love it.

On my first visit to my acupuncturist, she told me that my Chi is blocked. Chi is essential energy that travels through the body. Regardless of the area my doctor is treating on a given day, I always get a needle on the top of my head. This is the location of the crown chakra, the place that connects me to the universal force.

A heard a man joking once about how acupuncture came into being. I mean, think of the potential for mistakes-sticking needles into various parts of your body. How many times did they stick needles in the wrong areas to be able to determine the right ones?

Take for example, the Hui Yin chakra. It is an extremely important point on the pathway of the chi. "When the Hui Yin is strong, the organs remain firm and healthy; when it is weak the organs lose cohesiveness and Chi energy drains away. Because this Center is the gate through which Ch'i energy from the other organs can be either retained or lost, it is called the "Gate of Life and Death"." This is the point at which all the other energy channels converge.

These are the associated psychological traits for the Hui Yin:

Balanced and Open: You are grounded and comfortable with earthy reality; you are not afraid of dirt or germs.

Overactive: You may be fixated at the anal level, and may have a crude or childish sense of humour. If this chakra takes over the normal role of the Genital Chakra, you will prefer anal to genital sex; if you are male homosexual you will hang out in public toilets to find sexual partners.

Malfunctioning: You may suffer from obsessive-compulvise behaviour; obsessive tidiness, a fear of germs, etc. Everything in your house has to absolutely spotless.

Blocked: You have difficulty relating to earthy things, and may feel emotionally insecure.

See here for more information on this chakra.

Happily, I seem to be in balance with my Hui Yin. Its location is an area where I t'aint never letting anyone put a needle! (Not since the babies were born anyway).

Has a new word been invented to describe Barry Bonds?

"That's enter-taint-ment
Like one of those reality TV shows, soon-to-be home-run king Barry Bonds manages to disgust and fascinate at the same time

July 8, 2007
BY JAY MARIOTTI Sun-Times Columnist
ST. LOUIS -- We watch Barry Bonds with part humor, part disgust, like a reality TV show that insults our intelligence yet still qualifies as required viewing. He's about to shatter the most revered record of my childhood, the 755 home runs of Henry Aaron, and much to my middle-aged horror, Bonds and his suspicious pedigree have reduced the moment to a freak fest, asterisk debate and nightly security challenge"

The rest of the article is here. And I can't stand Bud Selig.

Where is this?

This looks like part of your large intestine, or some strange biological speciman. But it t'aint that at all! Why it is a Department of Natural Resources map for a beautiful lake in Northern Wisconsin where one can enjoy a host of outdoor recreational activities.

Teaching the kids to ski t'aint hard on a knee board or other special skis. No t'aint.

Want to know more about this beautiful lake in Northern Wisconsin? Of course you do. Here's more information about beautiful Tainter Lake.