Thursday, October 25, 2007

Apparently, it's not actually Kool-Aid

Townhall.Com sent me this ad this morning. Don't they know they are just writing the jokes themselves? In case you were just wondering: No, Storyville does not seem to do Fair Trade. What a surprise.

Update DGuzman has pointed out that it may be hard to tell who the fat bastard in the ad is. It is Bill Bennett, professional gambler and author of ethics books for children. Bet that coffee tastes good at 4 am as he's putting another cupla grand in the pot in his online poker game.

Update II Are those the words 'French Press' I spy in the upper right hand corner? Didn't they mean "Freedom" Press?


dguzman said...

who's the constipated guy on the right? did the coffee cause it, or will it be the cure?

Jess Wundrun said...

dguzman the type is probably too small. That guy is Bill Bennett, professional gambler and author of ethics books for children. In otherwords, a typical right wing study in ironic contrasts. (aka - hypocrite)

Matthew Hubbard said...

Drink the truth?

Can I eat the knowledge? Can I smell the logic?

I know one thing. I can crap a better ad than this.

Dr. Zaius said...

That's Bill "You could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down" Bennett to you, thank you very much.

Dr. Zaius said...

Hey wait a minute, aren't these Republican mouth breathers supposed to hate all things French? He is gonna lose his Bill O'Reilly Secret Decoder Ring!

dguzman said...

OMG it's Bill Bennett? WTF does he know about coffee, much LESS about truth?

I think I'll go breathe the insanity now, and try to crap half as good an ad as Matty Boy can... *strain!*

Jess Wundrun said...

Matty you are too freakin' funny for a math guy. I don't want to smell the logic of any ad you crap, tho.

Dr. Z see? it is ethical to decide we'd rather have a high crime rate than aborted babies-regardless of color!

Bill O'Reilly likes "french press" too, but to him it is a nut squeeze by a hooker named GiGi.

dguzman "Drink the Truthiness" had some copyright problems. Bennett knows lots and about truthiness. Don't get hemorrhoids. (How do you spell 'roids?)

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I prefer to speak the truth rather than drinking it.

Sorghum Crow said...

I drank the truth, but was thirsty an hour later.

Suzy said...

Apparently, not gambling is not a virtue. I despise those books.

Matthew Hubbard said...

Jess, knowing the math and knowing the funny are not mutually exclusive.

Tom Lehrer, for example.

I realize this afternoon that to make a better ad, we should go with alliteration.

Taste the truth.

Nosh the knowledge.

Lick the logic.

See, isn't that better?

Jess Wundrun said...

Dr. MvM I speak lots of truth after drinking. Sadly, I usually don't remember much of it the next day.

Sorghum was that some Chinese brand of truth?

Suzy have you had to read the books? I've seen a bit of the animated cartoons. I'druther the kids watch SpongeBob. He's more morally relevant than Bill.

matty they licked the logic a long time ago, my friend.

Fran said...

Sorry it took me so long to come by the blog.

I was busy playing a "drink the truth" drinking game.

The results were not pretty. Especially since my drinking partners were Bill Fat Flappin' Ass Bennett and Condi Rice.

They left together. I'm just sayin'...