Saturday, December 20, 2008

One more mishap




My life is beginning to resemble a sit-com. Following closely on the heels of those madcap adventures-the problems with RD at work, the faux heart attack and subsequent vicodin bender, then jury duty and the twenty hour deliberation, I went back to work promising not to miss a day unless I was bleeding out my eyes.
The very next morning my back seized up on me while I was in the laundry room. I went up to my bedroom, called work and told them I'd be in as soon as the drugs kicked in. Then I hollered at Ben to bring me the prescription ibuprofen they gave me at the hospital. "Not the vicodin!" I added.

I took two of the 600mg ibuprofen pills and sent Ben to Walgreens for some Doan's pills.

When Ben got back I took two of the Doans.

Eight hours later, when the workday was nearly done, I woke up.

The next day I discovered that I did not take ibuprofen, I took two prescription muscle relaxers my doctor had prescribed and that Ben had filled while I was zonked out on the vicodin bender, plus the two Doan's pills.

I shall heretofore refer to this as the incident of the 'Lude bender.

19 comments:

CDP said...

It's been like Robert Downey Jr.'s diary around here lately! (Just kidding...hope you're better!)

Mauigirl said...

Oh you poor thing! Well, I hope the muscle relaxers did the trick! Glad you didn't OD!

DCup said...

Next thing you know, you'll be loading up on the Oxycontin with Levi Johnston's mama!

Sorghum Crow said...

Dang. I had some of those muscle relaxers. I took one thinking it and a good night's sleep would ease my back. It more or less did, but not before I woke up after walking into the closet and banging my head on a shelf. I wonder what two will do to me? Not going to check.

Dr. Zaius said...

Considering your recent lifestyle, one might begin to wonder if you don't actually live in Hollywood.

Dale said...

I'm planning an intervention right now but only to get at those delicious sounding pills!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Sounds more like bragging to me! ;)

GETkristiLOVE said...

That's much more creative than telling your boss that your alarm didn't go off.

Freida of the Bees said...

There is no feeling depressed on your "accidental" day off, when one is unconscious through it. The night time, on the other hand- after you woke up no longer needing to work or sleep, I hope was partayliscious, but without need of such a word.

dguzman said...

Doper.

dguzman said...

Srsly, your post was funny, and the comments above made it even funnier! Poor Jess!

Comrade Kevin said...

Feel better!

Omnipotent Poobah said...

Did you say "sit-com" or "shit-com".

Actually, could you send me the pills? I could use a day off right about now.

Dale said...

Enjoy the holidays and any leftover pills!

Dr. Zaius said...

At least drugs come in festive colors to match the holidaze. Merry Christmas, Jess!

Suzy said...

OH, Jess. I can only hope that the 5+ days following this post have been better. Happy Boxing Day!

Dean Wormer said...

At least you didn't marry Yoko Ono or something really freaky.

Ed said...

How is your back now? I hope you're feeling better and that you're enjoying a good holiday season, too.

Whiskeymarie said...

I have muscle relaxers that knock me out for 10+ hours when I take them.

God, I love pharmaceuticals.