Friday, August 22, 2008

Who Is Today's Saint?


Today we celebrate the Feast of Saint Symphorian. My Saint-A-Day guide describes him as a "mother-encouraged martyr". Insert your own Catholic Guilt joke here.

Saint-A-Day says:
In the town of Autun, France (then the Roman province of Gaul) this Christian schoolboy staunchly refused to participate in the pagan rites honoring the harvest goddess Cybele. Symphorian carried on an edifying theological debate with the local magistrate while being flogged and was then escorted outside the town and beheaded while his proud mother stood on the walls and shouted encouragement to her son.


Okay. On a personal note, Lotta swam with swim team this summer and turned out to be pretty good. It was hard not to overdo the, shall we say, parental encouragement. But what I can say for certain is that I would not stage-mother her into a beheading. Whack.

Symphorian is the Patron Saint of children (I suggest a re-vote) and students; is invoked against syphilis. (Does it seem to you that an inordinate amount of Saints get invoked against sexually transmitted diseases? Particularly when the Christian Fundamentalists would have you believe that extra-marital sex was invented right after the birth control pill? Just wondering.)

If Symphorian were alive today he would not be a saint, he would be that even lesser-talented Lohan chick or Jamie Lynn Spears.

7 comments:

FranIAm said...

You know, I do count on you for adding to my Catholic education.

I knew not a whit about this one. And really, that was just fine...

Cheering him on? Deep sigh. Deep sigh.

Another French beheading was of St. Denis. He took his head in his arms and marched from Paris to the suburb of (now-called) St. Denis.

There he dropped his head and collapsed and now a basilica stands there.

And yes, I've been there. Entirely sketchy neighborhood now, but it cried out to be seen.

If only his mom had been there, perhaps she could have helped carry his head?

BTW I just called you "the six fingered wonder (or wundrun?)" of the blogosphere.

Which you are!

dguzman said...

These saints just get creepier and creepier.

Comrade Kevin said...

I wonder who the patron saint of empty promises is.

Randal Graves said...

St. Politician.

Jess Wundrun said...

franiam I respect you too much to make a dirty flasher joke out of St. Denis.

Okay, I don't, it's just that the joke's not real funny. Vive le Denis! Vive la tete!

dguzman people used to be somewhat limited for entertainment. On the other hand, there are people who still think George W. Bush can do no wrong. Now that's creepy!

comrade and randal talk amongst yourselves, you've answered the question. Here's a photo of just one

FranIAm said...

Oh well, it is time for that to change. If I can't be both reverent and irreverent at the moment, I won't play any more!

Forget the flasher jokes... I mean, the opportunities for giving head jokes is great.

Don't hate me for this, it is who I am. As Jesus made me!

Dr. Zaius said...

From that picture, it looks like Ronald Reagan is about to kill the sacrificial lamb... Must be a Democrat.