How does Keith do it?

Keith Richards is writing his memoir.

Keith Richards is a man who so loved him the smack that he used to have to exchange all the blood in his body for new blood just to detox*.

Keith Richards remembers things well enough to write them down in a manner that people will want to read.**


Alberto Gonzales is the numero uno lawyer in all the land.

Alberto Gonzales has neither admitted nor denied exchanging all of his blood for new blood***

Alberto doesn't seem to be able to remember shit.



*Snopes says that Keith did not exchange all of his blood for new blood. Rather he underwent hemodialysis, a process that separated the toxins from his blood through a membrane.

** Apparently, Mick Jagger has tried to write his memoir but is unable to remember anything interesting. Jerry Hall agrees there are some interesting things Mick has forgotten. Like not getting married.

***Just saying. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Are you in touch with your Hui Yin?

I have been seeing an acupuncturist for the last few months. I went in for some odd symptoms that my regular doctor couldn't diagnose, like dizzy spells and some numbness. I can't tell you how effective the acupuncture is because while my symptoms have appeared with less frequency I have no way of knowing if that's the acupuncture or something else.

I think it is hard for a person who thinks with a western mind to get a handle on the philosophy of acupuncture. My doctor wants me to look at whole systems and I, as evidenced above, want to know if the current prescription is effective or not effective. I will say this, about once a week I go to see the acupuncturist, spend a few minutes of unpleasantness getting the needles put in-not painful but I get the skeeves once in a while- and then I get a really comfortable hour long rest accompanied by eastern music with labels like 'Acupuncture for the Mind'. Groovy. I love it.

On my first visit to my acupuncturist, she told me that my Chi is blocked. Chi is essential energy that travels through the body. Regardless of the area my doctor is treating on a given day, I always get a needle on the top of my head. This is the location of the crown chakra, the place that connects me to the universal force.

A heard a man joking once about how acupuncture came into being. I mean, think of the potential for mistakes-sticking needles into various parts of your body. How many times did they stick needles in the wrong areas to be able to determine the right ones?

Take for example, the Hui Yin chakra. It is an extremely important point on the pathway of the chi. "When the Hui Yin is strong, the organs remain firm and healthy; when it is weak the organs lose cohesiveness and Chi energy drains away. Because this Center is the gate through which Ch'i energy from the other organs can be either retained or lost, it is called the "Gate of Life and Death"." This is the point at which all the other energy channels converge.

These are the associated psychological traits for the Hui Yin:

Balanced and Open: You are grounded and comfortable with earthy reality; you are not afraid of dirt or germs.

Overactive: You may be fixated at the anal level, and may have a crude or childish sense of humour. If this chakra takes over the normal role of the Genital Chakra, you will prefer anal to genital sex; if you are male homosexual you will hang out in public toilets to find sexual partners.

Malfunctioning: You may suffer from obsessive-compulvise behaviour; obsessive tidiness, a fear of germs, etc. Everything in your house has to absolutely spotless.

Blocked: You have difficulty relating to earthy things, and may feel emotionally insecure.

See here for more information on this chakra.

Happily, I seem to be in balance with my Hui Yin. Its location is an area where I t'aint never letting anyone put a needle! (Not since the babies were born anyway).