Saturday, March 15, 2008

Seven Things You May Not Know

Dr. Zaius must be cleaning out the meme closet on his unfurnished home, because he's been handing those memes out like craaaazy. Dean Wormer gave me the seven things meme too, so though I probably should do fourteen, I'll only bore you with seven.

The seven things meme is where I lay seven little secrets on the line for you. Okay, maybe not secrets just things I haven't gotten around to blogging about yet. I have alluded to both my stints in jail and at the United Nations, so since you might know about those, I'll put them in the 'to do' pile and not list them here.

The rules:
List seven random things about yourself that people may not know.

Link the person who sent this to you, and leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours.

Post the rules on your blog.

Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, linking their blog. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Without further ado:

1. I was once a certified PADI scuba diver. I probably never went diving more than a half a dozen times, but I still have all the gear in the basement. I don't like diving in lakes here in Wisconsin because there are thermoclines, layers of very cold water as you go deeper. When you cross one it's like going from a warm room into a walk-in freezer. Brrrr. Plus it tends to be dark. The darkness and the cold bring on claustrophobia for me, a sensation I never experience otherwise. I liked in the Gulf of Mexico and in the Caribbean but those places are a tad hard to get to on a given Saturday.

2. I jumped out of an airplane twice. Both were static line jumps, where they hook a long line from your parachute to the plane. As you jump when the line becomes taut the parachute pulls out of the pack and Wheeeee! you are on your way. I have a slight fear of heights, but when you parachute you are already falling so there's no need to be afraid. On the first jump I sang "Fly me to the moon" at the top of my lungs during my descent. I hope the two way radio wasn't on! The radio was there to communicate with a guy on the ground who would tell you to 'toggle left' or 'toggle right' to change your direction to get you to the landing zone. Because there was a busy highway and powerlines to the north of the landing zone, you listened very carefully to his instructions. The last instruction they give you is "Flair!" which does not mean to land with great showmanship or aplomb, it means to pull straight down on the toggles which breaks your speed for a soft landing. On my second jump I didn't 'flair' straight down but I pulled the toggles like you would on a weight training machine, without bending my elbows. When I hit the ground I was only about 3/4's of the way through, so hit much harder than I should have. Whoops. I would never do a tandem jump where you go strapped to the belly of an experienced sky diver. Though you get to go up much higher (static jumps are from about 3000 feet, tandems can be 10,000) the landings are more dangerous because people tend to stick their feet out on the landing, breaking legs and ankles.

Though this isn't about me, I thought I'd mention that the first time my sister flew in a plane was when she went skydiving. The first time she flew on a commercial flight she mentioned to the lady sitting next to her that though she'd flown before, she'd never landed.

3. The first time I ever flew in an airplane was when I was 20. I went with Model Organization of the American States to the Assembly in Washington. I didn't tell anyone that I'd never flown before until after we'd gotten there. One of the guys said if he'd have known he'd have given me his window seat. Since then, I always want the window. No matter how often I fly I never get tired of looking down on the planet.

4. I have never been to an opera, or to a ballet, unless you count events in the basement of the library or recitals that include 3 year old dancers. I am a rube. The first show I saw on Broadway was "Les Miserables". My parents were visiting me when I was interning at the UN so I took them. In those days you did not go into Times Square after dark! About ten minutes into Les Mis, dad asked when they were going to stop singing and start talking. I guess he thought it would be like Oklahoma or something. I saw Lion King in its first season. Benjamin Netanyahu and his family were three rows behind us. I sat in the first row center for The Full Monty and got to chat with the orchestra conductor before the show. I was hoping that I might get a sneak peek at the 'montys' in the last scene-sort of an up and under view, but no dice. The last show I saw on Broadway was 'Rent'. Personally, I thought it sucked. Maybe because it had already been made into a movie and had all kinds of hype around it. Maybe because it was in its gazillionth season by then it was a little stale. There was one American Idol chick in it, though.

5. My husband keeps a picture of a Jamaican prostitute licking my nipple under his desk blotter. Though it was hot girl on girl action, I think I can say that I am not now nor have I ever been gay. The nipple licking (enjoyable, btw) occurred the night before we got married in Negril. A friend of ours purchased the services of the prostitute for me as a bachelorette kind of thing, which is how I wound up getting licked by her. I wonder if this precludes me from elected office? I think I'll post the rest of that story on our anniversary.

6. I graduated in the lowest quartile of my high school class. I had a C-/D+ average because I wouldn't do my homework. Thanks to the CLEP tests and high ACT scores, I got to skip most of my college 100 level courses and I was frequently on the Dean's list in college. Though I hate homework, I loved to write papers and I loved to cram for tests. I had three majors: International Studies, Journalism and Political Science. I never did anything with any of them.

7. I taught myself crochet a few months ago. I'm working on an afghan for my mother. It's straight halfdouble chain in stripes. The colors are garish.


There, that was fun. I'm not officially tagging anyone, but have at it if you feel the urge.

D Cup at PoliTits tagged me with the six word meme a week ago, and here I am getting around to it.

Those rules:


1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag five more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play


My memoir?

I wish I was wrong sometimes

Okay, I cribbed that off the coaster that my coffee cup is sitting on right now. But I think it works. Now I've plagiarized my own biography. That's pretty telling too!

Again, not tagging. See above.

Thanks, DCup, Dean, and Dr. Zaius for the tags!

4 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

Wow! You life is far more exciting than mine. I never jumped out of an airplane, I never went scuba diving, I've never been to New York, I didn't even know that they made "The Full Monty" into a musical! I did do poorly in high school because I didn't do my homework, though.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Holy crap, color me impressed about your UN experience and your life in NYC. I'm also jealous you can scuba dive and got your boob licked by a Jamaican whore.

Dean Wormer said...

Wow! That is one exciting life.

1-2 scuba/ airplane - you are much braver than I could ever hope to be.

3 flying - No matter how often I fly I never get tired of looking down on the planet.

It IS pretty cool.

4. theater - Les Mis was the first big show I saw too. Pretty overwhelming.

5. Jamaican prostitute - weird. I have almost that exact same story. Only it involves a Chihuaha. And I was alone. I think the dog's got a picture of it somewhere...

FranIAm said...

Jaysus woman. What haven't you done?

I am terrified of heights and I challenge my fear, but I am not jumping out of a plane, unless forced to!

It may be too much to wish, but what I wouldn't do for a garish crochet potholder from the hook of JW...

A girl has to have dreams and I have mine now.